There are always at least two occasions when two persons, unwittingly, almost meet. Each time destiny seems to have prepared this meeting with the greatest care, attending first to one possibility, then another, ordering the tiniest detail and leaving nothing to chance. But each time some tiny, unattended eventuality intervenes to prevent the coming together, and the two lines diverge once again at a greater rate... But destiny is much too persistent to allow itself to be put off by a failure. It arrives at its ends, by such subtle machinations that not even a click is heard when at last the two persons are brought together. (Nabokov)quoted in Jean Baudrillard's Impossible Exchange 81
....passion and seduction care nothing for the recognition of the other, (Baudrillard The Perfect Crime:118)
....genuine rape, is not forcibly ‘enjoying’ someone, but forcing someone to
have pleasure, (Baudrillard Impossible Exchange:123)
I was coming out of my hotel room in Venice and, as it was late, I finally planned to eat, maybe downstairs. I clicked the electronic lock, turned to check which way the elevator was. That was when I saw her across the hall exiting her room, and her door had not closed yet. As she turned and met my eyes, our eyes locked and I was drowning in those dark pools that got blacker and blacker as her pupils dilated.
My breath caught in my throat and I closed the distance across the hallway, grabbed her around the waist with one hand, pushed her back inside with my body and other hand, twisted around to close her door and lock it, then slammed her against the wall beside the door. My hand around her waist was freed now and I began to rip her clothes off and I covered her mouth with mine and began to bite her lips softly but with more and more sting I knew. She opened her mouth to me as my tongue slid in and sought hers.
Oh my god what am I doing, but there was no way I could stop now. I lifted my head to say,
"There's nothing here except you. You and me. Us. In this room. In this world. Right now in this moment."
And that was all I could get out before I finished ripping her clothes off all the way and starting with my own, imprisoning her mouth with my lips the whole time. Her hands fisted in my shirt, pulling and tugging then moved to my hair and she grabbed it and yanked and moaned and pushed against my body.
I pulled her legs up around me, standing there and poised at her entrance. I went in a few inches, lifted her more and carried us to the bed where I entered her all the way, oblivious to anything, unaware of her, myself, the bed, my life, hers, the world, nothing but slamming into her with all the force I had and listening to her half scream, half moan. Her eyes were squnched closed as I watched her with immense hunger. I couldn't stop and I pulled all the way out just to feel myself slam into her again. I didn't care about her feelings, her pleasure, or anything else about her at all, just this, just taking her over and over and over until she screamed and came all over us both.
I pounded into her until she clenched and clutched me everywhere, inside and out, twisting to get away and holding me so tight neither of us could have moved an inch away from the other. I ground down into her again and again until I felt her deep weak spot that just opened to me like the endless void it was and she began to convulse, scream, cry, tremble , pulsate, throb and until her entire body just let go trembling and shaking and convulsing as she yelled and murmured incoherent words and sounds.
I kept on and on, ordered her to come again and pounded her into unmerciful oblivion and spent as she was, she trembled all over my cock again and I let go at last feeling all of her, her mouth, her breasts, the length of her naked body against mine and I threw back my head and hollered to the sky like a primitive animal inside the room of this hotel on the Piazza San Marco, one of the most civilized places in the world.
When I began to breathe again I turned and looked at her but her eyes were closed.
"I've never done this before" I said.
"I've never even thought of doing this before. I just had to have you. I'm not even sorry that I can't feel sorry or even say I'm sorry because I'm not. Not at all. I'm just so grateful. You are a dream, you are inside my dreams, and yet you are not. I feel all my life has led up to this moment when you walked out of the door to your hotel room.
"What trillions of endless decisions and moments and ideas, thoughts, feelings, experiences, everything, just everything that had to happen exactly as they happened for you to walk out that door at exactly that moment in time. I cannot believe it. I cannot believe it happened. How could it ever have happened. I don't know. I will never know."