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Twilight: Irresistible Destiny
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What a pleasure to caress a woman without waking her! Simply to be for her a paradoxical dream in which her body alone would find pleasure. What obscure desire in her to be violated without knowing it?
With every woman, one would love to possess her without her being aware of it, leaving her free to take her pleasure without our knowing it.
He was probably still capable of awakening her with his roughness. So he thought; but his heart did not rise to the challenge. (Baudrillard - Cool Memories III - 21)
Chapter 7
EPOV
Oh this woman. I will live forever and still not get to the bottom of her. Listening to a symphony of one mosquito. Now I long to hear that music too. Ants who get drunk, kidnap caterpillars, as I want to kidnap her, stroke the caterpillars like musical instruments to listen to their music, never letting them go. I understand those insects with all my heart.
"Why am I here in Venice? It's obvious of course. There can only be one reason, don't you think?"
I smile at her, touched by all that she has said. Overwhelmed by her feelings and thoughts and understanding and all that she is that is so perfect for me. I breathe freely for what seems like the first time in my life.
"I came here for the Biennale, the art show. The opening was two weeks ago but for some reason," and here I smile again, " I found I couldn't leave. I had to cancel my plane ticket, take a loss on it, and still I couldn't understand why I couldn't leave. So I walked around, ate at small out of the way places, thought, drew some, wrote some, read some, but really just waited. I was waiting for you of course, but I didn't know that."
"Why did you come for the show? Are you in it?"
"I am. Have you seen it?"
"No, I was planning to go before I left though. I promised my friend Alice I would see it and report to her if there was anything she might want to research. So yes, I was definitely planning to see it. But now I want to see it with you. You will go with me, won't you. That's not a question. Is it still on the Lido the way it used to be?"
Oh god, the way she sees, she will see through to my core when she sees my painting. She will immediately know. I can't wait. I won't tell her anymore. I want to surprise her. But I am the one who will be surprised. I know it.
Her eyes are closing so I tell her to sleep as I want to watch her sleep. When she begins to breathe regularly I touch her gently. She moves, so I hold still on her. As her breathing deepens, I slowly move my hands to another part of her body. She is still quiet so I continue, slowly, gently with great tenderness. I love her so. I have always loved her, and I know that now. She turns her back to me and I lean in close. I know what I am planning to do. I want to be inside her, to sleep inside her, without her waking. I want to just breathe with her, to become one with her, to fill her dreams and have her fill mine. And I will take as long as I need to to sleep inside her.
I want to own her dreams too.
_____________________________________________________________________
What a pleasure to caress a woman without waking her! Simply to be for her a paradoxical dream in which her body alone would find pleasure. What obscure desire in her to be violated without knowing it?
With every woman, one would love to possess her without her being aware of it, leaving her free to take her pleasure without our knowing it.
He was probably still capable of awakening her with his roughness. So he thought; but his heart did not rise to the challenge. (Baudrillard - Cool Memories III - 21)
Chapter 7
EPOV
Oh this woman. I will live forever and still not get to the bottom of her. Listening to a symphony of one mosquito. Now I long to hear that music too. Ants who get drunk, kidnap caterpillars, as I want to kidnap her, stroke the caterpillars like musical instruments to listen to their music, never letting them go. I understand those insects with all my heart."Why am I here in Venice? It's obvious of course. There can only be one reason, don't you think?"
I smile at her, touched by all that she has said. Overwhelmed by her feelings and thoughts and understanding and all that she is that is so perfect for me. I breathe freely for what seems like the first time in my life.
"I came here for the Biennale, the art show. The opening was two weeks ago but for some reason," and here I smile again, " I found I couldn't leave. I had to cancel my plane ticket, take a loss on it, and still I couldn't understand why I couldn't leave. So I walked around, ate at small out of the way places, thought, drew some, wrote some, read some, but really just waited. I was waiting for you of course, but I didn't know that."
"Why did you come for the show? Are you in it?"
"I am. Have you seen it?"
"No, I was planning to go before I left though. I promised my friend Alice I would see it and report to her if there was anything she might want to research. So yes, I was definitely planning to see it. But now I want to see it with you. You will go with me, won't you. That's not a question. Is it still on the Lido the way it used to be?"
Oh god, the way she sees, she will see through to my core when she sees my painting. She will immediately know. I can't wait. I won't tell her anymore. I want to surprise her. But I am the one who will be surprised. I know it.Her eyes are closing so I tell her to sleep as I want to watch her sleep. When she begins to breathe regularly I touch her gently. She moves, so I hold still on her. As her breathing deepens, I slowly move my hands to another part of her body. She is still quiet so I continue, slowly, gently with great tenderness. I love her so. I have always loved her, and I know that now. She turns her back to me and I lean in close. I know what I am planning to do. I want to be inside her, to sleep inside her, without her waking. I want to just breathe with her, to become one with her, to fill her dreams and have her fill mine. And I will take as long as I need to to sleep inside her.I want to own her dreams too.
