Irresistible Destiny:Chapter 13 - Tantric Sex

Books » 310 series » Twilight: Impossible Destiny

Author: seymourblogger 1. Chapter 1:Kairos2. Chapter 2: Kairos3. Chapter 3: Mine4. Chapter 4 : Mine5. Chapter 5 : Alterity6. Chapter 6: Alterity7. Chapter 78. Chapter 8 B9. Chapter 9E10. Chapter 10B: Death11. Chapter 11: Death12. Chapter 12 : Dreaming13. Chapter 13E Dreaming14. Chapter 14 : Bella's Dreams15. Chapter 15 :Imagining Bella16. Chapter 16: Waiting17. Chapter 17: Waiting18. Chapter 18:Mine

Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Published: 08-31-11 - Updated: 09-09-11 id:7342016

Twilight: Irresistible Destiny
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What a pleasure to caress a woman without waking her! Simply to be for her a paradoxical dream in which her body alone would find pleasure. What obscure desire in her to be violated without knowing it?

With every woman, one would love to possess her without her being aware of it, leaving her free to take her pleasure without our knowing it.

He was probably still capable of awakening her with his roughness. So he thought; but his heart did not rise to the challenge. (Baudrillard - Cool Memories III - 21)

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Only the play of destiny is interesting, but it isn’t a religious fate we’re talking about. It means simply that, as against cause-and-effect logic, the event is there first..(Paroxysm 47)

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EPOV

As she sank into sleep I kept holding her, gradually turning her around to face me, slowly touching her ever so lightly. I was feeling her tolerance, her limits to her awareness of me while she was asleep and I learned how to touch her all over without waking her. I heard only murmurs that excited me. I felt myself get hard as I listened to her, her changes in breathing pattern, her mumbled words, and sometimes her fluttering eyes under her eyelids to tell me she was dreaming.



And I felt such love for her, such desire for her that I wanted to shake her awake and make love to her all over again.






So I quieted down, closed my eyes, and very slowly began to enter her. With every movement she whimpered and threatened to wake up so I stopped until she quieted. When I was sure she was deep in sleep again I went deeper, and when she moved I stopped until she breathed deeply again. This went on until I was all the way inside her, hard and almost unable to contain myself. I held still until I could stand it, relax and breathe with her.



I focused my entire mind on the feeling of her and our breathing, as I synchronized mine with hers. And then my mind began to float. I wasn't asleep and I wasn't awake, I was somewhere else, somewhere familiar and strange. I held her as securely as I could without waking her. I touched her face and breasts and thighs and stomach and oh god I wanted to feel us joined like this.




So I did.

Akhmatova - Modigliani

Sometime during the night I started to sleep and began to slide out of her, but I awakened myself and moved to feel her again, feel the way she affected me, and all thoughts of deep sleep were gone. As soon as I could quiet myself again I began to travel again. Through the dark, through time, somewhere I had been and yet had never been. And it was then I felt her quiver deep inside. All her organs were slightly quivering and she caught her breath.




What was she dreaming now? Her eyes were moving her eyelids now. She was dreaming, but of who and what was she dreaming? I felt intensely jealous.






Then I felt her grow quieter, more controlled, less susceptible to my movements. This I did not like at all, but I waited to see and hear what would happen next. Her foot kicked. She chuckled ironically, insultingly. And tried to turn over in her sleep, but I held her fast.

Hamlet and Ophelia - Louise Bourgeois

Gradually she breathed in synch with me again and moved in response to me. It was getting towards dawn now and I wanted her bad. I had played with my desire all night long and I had been ready all night long. But oh, the journey had been so beautiful.

Now I have more of a feeling and knowing where we are and what has been planned for us and what we will do about that.

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Twilight: Irresistible Destiny - Chapter 8 -

Books » 310 series » Twilight: Impossible Destiny

Author: seymourblogger 1. Chapter 1:Kairos2. Chapter 2: Kairos3. Chapter 3: Mine4. Chapter 4 : Mine5. Chapter 5 : Alterity6. Chapter 6: Alterity7. Chapter 78. Chapter 8 B9. Chapter 9E10. Chapter 10B: Death11. Chapter 11: Death12. Chapter 12 : Dreaming13. Chapter 13E Dreaming14. Chapter 14 : Bella's Dreams15. Chapter 15 :Imagining Bella16. Chapter 16: Waiting17. Chapter 17: Waiting18. Chapter 18:Mine

Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Published: 08-31-11 - Updated: 09-09-11 id:7342016

Twilight: Irresistible Destiny

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BPOV




We are taking a private gondola to the art show. The vaporetto would be a noisy beast now, and the age old swaying motion of the gondoliers, so proud of their inherited skill, create such a quiet time for lovers like us. Edward says there will just be some tourists there, not the crowd that was at the opening. In fact we may have it to ourselves at times.




"So why are you in Venice, Bella?"




"Hmmmm. Other than the real reason you mean. Well, I'm a psychic," I say. "An expensive one. My client wants me to go to Livorno. It used to be Leghorn, you know. Anyway she wants me to find which canal Modigliani threw his sculptures in."


"What!" He says. "You were sent here to do what!"




"What. You didn't know this?" I say.


"No. We're talking about millions and millions of dollars here."




"I suppose so. All as a result of a major temper tantrum."




"Tell me the story."

Modigliani's Birthplace  - Leghorn

"Modigliani came from a wealthy privileged family in Livorno. He went to Paris to continue his art there because Livorno was so staid, so normal, so, well, you know. And Paris was the center of it all then. He drank a lot, used drugs a lot, but still he painted a lot. Then he became interested in sculpture. He didn't have any money so he used the cheap sandstone that was available in Paris, but it was soft, dusty and he already coughed a lot. He was on his way to tuberculosis even then. So it made him sick to use the sandstone. There's one of his sandstone carytids on the steps at the Barnes foundation in Merion. Have you seen it?"




"I have."




"I would bet all the canals in Venice that we just missed each other there."

Modigliani Drawing -  Museum Modern Art 1914

"Yes. I was supposed to go one day. I had the appointment. But something happened, I forget what, and I had to reschedule. I would not be surprised if you were there the day I was supposed to be there and couldn't go. Continue", he ordered with a smile.



I am imagining what would have happened if we had met at the Barnes. The beautiful grounds, the incredible aura of the place. I'm looking at him and I forget everything I was saying. My breathing hitches. The gondola is hitting choppy waters here and I don't dare move and rock the boat. The water is filthy.



"I forget what I was talking about."




"You were telling me about Modigliani."




"Oh," I said. "Yes. Yes I was. Now I remember."

Modigliani Drawing - Barnes(?) 1914 

I continue. "So he decided to pay his family a visit, go home, and use the wonderful and cheap marble they had in Livorno, Leghorn then, and spend the summer making sculptures out of it. He did. And they must have been lovely, breathlessly beautiful. At the end of the summer he gave a show of his work. It was laughed at, ridiculed, denounced, trashed. Just like Albert Barnes's collection. He was so furious he got a wheelbarrow, piled them in and went to the canal and dumped them. Very impulsive. Really a major temper tantrum as I said. And then he went back to Paris, drank, did drugs, made art and
died."




"And they are still there? I can't believe that."




"Well, it's very silty mud, and it's been so long, they figure that during the bombing in World War II they were buried so deeply by then that they were covered with it and protected. But this bit of information is in a biography that's not very academic, and no one reads it because it was written for a popular reading audience, so no one has looked for them.




"Besides the Italian government would never allow them to leave the country, which would make it difficult to make a fortune on them. Difficult, but not impossible and I think that's what my client has plans to do. But she can't go digging around a bunch of canals because then she would be above the radar. If she can precisely locate them, then she can pretend to be doing something else as she digs them up. Once they are out of the country they can be, you know, found somewhere, hidden in a barn or something, just waiting to be discovered by someone who happens by.




It's a creative plan if she can pull it off. So I am supposed to intuit where he dumped them. But I'm in Venice because I thought as long as I was so close, I might as well see it. And Alice wanted me to look at the art show, so that's why I'm here."




"But I know why I'm really here," she said darkly.




He looks at me in disbelief. Astonishment.




"I will go with you."




"Yes, I already know that you will. What point would there be to separate."
And I stop talking and just gaze at him without thinking of anything at all. I'm just looking and breathing, just looking and breathing. That's all.




I am beginning to tremble again, but now it's deep inside me.

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Irresistible Destiny:Chapter 5 - Alterity

Twilight: Irresistible Destiny

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Suzanne - Leonard Cohen

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Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river

You can hear the boats go by

You can spend the night beside her

And you know that she's half crazy

But that's why you want to be there

And she feeds you tea and oranges

That come all the way from China

And just when you mean to tell her

That you have no love to give her

Then she gets you on her wavelength

And she lets the river answer

That you've always been her lover

And you want to travel with her

And you want to travel blind

And you know that she will trust you

For you've touched her perfect body with your mind.

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Chapter 5: Alterity

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We can recall moments in the past when we had equal chances of living or dying - in a car crash, for example... Every time someone finds himself at a crossroads of this kind, he has two worlds before him... It is the same with each decisive moment, both with birth and with death. Just as the virtual dead man that I am continues on his way on the other side, carries on with his existence which runs just beneath the surface of mine, birth is that dividing line where on the one side I exist as myself, but on the other I begin, at the same moment to exist as other Such is the form of alterity...(Baudrillard Impossible Exchange 82)

EPOV 5

Anna Akhmatova - Modigliani

I listened to her as I looked into her eyes and I felt I had known her forever. And the words she was telling me were saying just what I was thinking and feeling. Yes I knew she was right. I knew her right away. There wasn't even time for me to say hello, would you like to go to dinner with me. Or take a walk with her through the alleys of Venice. No, there was no time at all. I had to make her mine immediately.

"I read a novel once and I kept reading one part over and over until I could never forget it. And I didn't know why I had to do that, I just did. And now I know. So I can tell it to you right now. It was written by Marguerite Duras.

"In the novel the captain of a yacht and his wife sail from port to port, stopping only briefly at places they have been before. They have been very much in love, but she keeps a secret from him about another man she only spent one hour with. A man who read her poetry and loved it. And in that one hour that she speaks with him, she falls in love with him. And says this to him":

" 'I wanted to tell you what I think, which is that … one always ought to keep oneself a ... place, yes, that's the word, a private place, where one can be alone and love. To love one knows not what, nor whom, nor how, nor for how long. To love... now all the words are suddenly coming back... To set aside a place inside oneself to wait, you never know, to wait for a love, perhaps for a love without a person attached to it yet, but for that and only that. For love. I wanted to tell you you were what I had waited for. You alone became the outer surface of my life, the side I never see, and you will be that, the unknown part of me, until I die.' " (Duras - Emily L: 98-99)

"And that is what I want you to know right now. That I have been waiting for you, waiting it seems like forever. I knew I would never stop waiting. And as soon as I gazed at you, I knew I had to have you. And that I could not wait another second, no matter what the consequences. 

It felt like madness but I couldn't have stopped if the building were burning down on us. If it had happened when the Twin Towers were hit, it would have been the same. That's the level of madness I felt when I saw you.

"So yes, I believe what you say. I have no idea what to do about it, but right now I don't care. I just need to have you again and this time I am going to savor you. For a very long time."

And I began to kiss her softly, then more urgently, then insistently, cruelly because I couldn't get enough of her. I couldn't stop and I would have gone on all night but her hands reminded me I had other parts of me besides my lips and mouth and they began to demand my attention.

I strained against her, then touched her everywhere and then after I had finished with her mouth, her breasts, her thighs, her hot center, I began the journey all over again.

My mouth was on her body and moved of its own accord, drinking her, devouring her, demanding her, never stopping, my hands between her legs, my body crushing her beneath me, then lifting up and pulling her over and I couldn't get enough of all this touching and eating her skin, hair, ears, hands, feet, breasts, and I knew if I began eating her folds and entrance I would never stop so I began tasting her, sucking her, smelling her until I was driven mad again and couldn't be tender any longer.

I was starving for her, hungry as I had never been for food, desperate for her, to be in her and I groaned and entered her again, slowly at first then harder, until I was frantic with desire, unable to stop and I slammed into her again and again until she screamed my name over and over.

And she tensed, held her breath, tried to stop but couldn't and began to tremble and convulse against me and I pounded into her harder and harder until I gave up and let everything go into her moaning and crying out and holding her so hard I thought I might break all her bones.

"You're mine now. You're mine. You're mine and no one else's. And I will kill you too if I see you, hear you, imagine you ever touching anyone else again the way you touch me. You're mine!" I grabbed her throat and knifed her eyes and threatened her with murder if she ever even thought of anyone else. "

My god what is going on with me. She laughed about this, but I cannot even smile about it. I am dead serious. She's mine, mine and no one else's.